Alright I know we’ve all heard it a thousand times from famous and pretty people,“Forgive and forget.” But is this truly how we feel? Should we really forget after the forgiving? When someone really hurts you, do you still want to forgive that person? Forgiving seems almost unnatural, right? I’d be a total hypocrite if I’ll say it’s easy to forgive.
Personally, I believe it’s more appropriate to “Forgive and remember”. It’s impossible to forget those things, people, times or situations that have brought pain into our hearts. In time, when you’re ready to do so, when the pain has faded, you’ll be able to forgive but forgetting what that moment in your life has taught you seems impossible, well, at least to me. More than anything else though, we should be thankful to these people who have hurt us, for they have taught us a lot of lessons.
Pain and anger are both feelings. They should be felt, and exercised. We shouldn’t be hard on ourselves, forcing each forgiveness to occur, just go with the flow. Feel the pain but don’t let it linger for too long. Don’t let it dwell and stay inside your heart.
Making amends, letting bygones be bygones, welcoming those persons who have wronged you again in your life even if your insides are still in pain is just excruciatingly difficult to fathom. But here are a few reasons why we should forgive and remember.
1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was nothing and alright, and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcome in your life. Forgiveness just means that you’ve made peace with the pain, and you are ready to let it go.
2. Forgiveness is not something we do for others – it’s something we do for ourselves. Not forgiving someone is the equivalent of staying ambushed and ensnared in a prison cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else’s crime. You are the one who make choices to either dwell on the pain caused by others or you want to forgive and move on.
3. Gandhi once said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” It takes a strong person to face pain head-on, chin-up, forgive, and release it.
4. Forgiveness isn’t always about others – it’s also about forgiving yourself. Guilt never makes anyone feel better. So, always remember to forgive yourself and move on.
5. To forgive someone is the highest, most beautiful form of love. You might just find that you achieve a sense of peace and inner happiness in return. 🙂
If none of the above mentioned appeals to you, then you might want to take the advice of Oscar Wilde:
“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”
Forgiving and remembering.
All these things that have happened to us in the past are parts of our lives already. These persons who have hurt us, no matter how much we loathe them, they have taught us lessons. They have taught us that we could be stronger and that we could survive. Although it would be such a fancy thing to forget all the pain, suffering and hurt, it’s impossible.
We are bits of pieces of our past, may it be of happy thoughts or trials, these stages in our lives have helped shaped the persons that we are right now. We should forgive, but never ever forget those who have hurt you, for without them, we wouldn’t be who we are right now.